Being and saying sorry can be a difficult thing to do, particularly where issues of alcohol, drugs and substance abuse is involved.There is often a lot of pain around the problem of addiction – arguments, stress, wounded feelings and emotional tension. People who have run off on their problems, turned to drug use instead, can often need addict help to restore broken relationships, and to create better relationships in the future.
If an addict has hurt someone, then they should be encouraged to say sorry. Making an apology is very therapeutic for the one who makes the apology –and also for the recipient. Provided an apology is genuine and authentic – it makes those involved feel good.
Being sorry is one thing – saying it is another. Sometimes people find it extremely hard to apologize to another. Finding the right words to say is usually not too hard if the good intention is there. Most people are happy to forgive, if given a proper apology.
Sometimes in the history of an addict there is much hurt and pain – addicts have often been abused by others, as children. Instead of an apology, and forgiveness – addicts have often taken much of the blame for abusive situations and suffer low self esteem because of it.
An apology by those who were abusive would often be helpful in addiction recovery. However apologies might not be forthcoming. Addict help in addiction recovery can help an addict to see that he was not the cause of abuse against him – nor should he feel guilty or ashamed. With addict help to understand the dynamics of abusive relationships – an addict can be enabled to feel better about himself – and feel absolved from guilt. With comprehension and understanding, an addict won’t need a direct apology from the abuser in order to feel free of the burden. Getting addict help means resolution – and to move on with their life.
When the opportunity arises to make an apology – and genuinely say I’m sorry – people sometimes don’t want to, or don’t know how to.
Making an apology can make us feel vulnerable. However, everyone should make the effort to apologize if they can – it clears the air, makes us feel good, and releases emotional pain.
If there was a financial cost involved in the wrongdoing, people have to decide – whether to write it off as resolved by the apology , or repayment arrangements can be made. Restitution might be necessary to complete the process of apology and forgiveness.
Sometimes when serious injury has come about by criminal intent, an apology and forgiveness is encouraged between the offender and the victim. Such is the healing power of an apology and forgiveness that people can feel absolved of resentment or continued blame – and free to move on from their pain. Incest survivors, those injured by people driving dui, workplace conflicts and harassments, neighborly disputes can all be resolved and healed by an apology and forgiveness. Communities can be helped and strengthened by the resolution of disagreements when people admit to wrongdoing, offer an apology and are forgiven.
Holding onto resentment and anger is not a healthy option – situations unresolved can lead to distress and disorder in the body. People only prolong, and intensify their suffering when they refuse to negotiate and find terms of resolution. Understanding the point of view of others always helps – it might not bring agreement but at least a resolution.
If addiction is causing feelings of guilt or shame – consider being and saying sorry – and get addict help.