This question may be as difficult to answer as “Define Love”.
Every human being is capable of love to one degree or another. The problem is, with a crack cocaine addict, his or her addiction will get in the way. You must understand the psychology of an addict. Nothing is more important to them than their drug. While they may have deep feelings for a person, that will be shoved aside to make room for their need for drugs. This is true whether the addict has been in a loving relationship for years before becoming an addict, or is an addict embarking on a new love interest.
If you are already in a relationship with someone who has become an addict, try to get them help.
Most people have heard that drugs not only affect the addict, but everyone they care about as well. If an addict will destroy a relationship that has lasted for years, it is probable that they will destroy one that is new. Things may be great when they have had their fix but when they are searching for it, things will not be pretty and nice. Most loved ones of addicts confess that when their addict needs a fix they can be not only mean, but on occasion, violent. They are unpredictable. Only one thing matters to them and that is getting more drugs.
Can a crack cocaine addict love another person? Yes, I believe they can but they do not have the ability to correctly display and recognize that love, let alone act on it. No matter how much they may care for another person, it is not going to be enough to overcome their need for the drug. It is not going to be enough to overcome their foul moods and/or violence when they need the drug.
Being addicted to drugs is all encompassing. It affects their mind, body, mood, actions, everything.Above all, the drug IS the most important thing in the world to them. Love is an emotion which can be complicated enough without adding the toxic mixture of addiction into it. Staying out of involvement with a drug addict is the best advice. If you are already in a relationship with someone who has become an addict, try to get them help. If you cannot, there may come a time when you have to make them choose, and they WILL choose the drug, unfortunately. Talk to a drug rehab professional for more help.
Cocaine and alcohol addicts swing from confident engaging personalities to slurring heavy handed violent maniacs they are not safe. SOURCE – experience
Alexandria Morales says
My name is Alexandria. My ex-fiancee is a crack cocaine abuser. He spends $966 a week on crack cocaine and alcohol. I don’t know what to do. I have an Order of Protection out against him, but yet I am still afraid, as he has on multiple occasionally, kicked down my door, broken in to my home, stolen $$, property, etc.
I have a husband who is addicted to crack and alcohol. We’ve been married for 10 years, as I speak he’s in the streets right now. Once he’s out of money he will be home. I want to leave so I can have peace but I feel so sorry for him. He’s such a good sweet guy once he’s back to reality but when he’s drink he is so so mean and say the worst things to me! I hate him and love him too.
Your blog was insightful. I have struggled with my relationship with an addict for years. It is a roller coaster that has gotten really old ,disappointing,dishearting,sad,frustrating. It’s so tiring to deal with lies, cheating. Games, manipulation,mood swings,arrogance,disrespect,multiple breakups,etc. This struggle has got to end .Wasted to many years on happiness and joy. I don’t do drugs and wasn’t told about drug use until much later.
Raul Lopez says
Kick her to the curb
wow! you are not a drug user and you were in a relationship with an addict for years! you are a real trooper !! You managed to handle it somehow!!? and you still came out alive.I admire your courage and strength because you have truely fought a war and I I have been in your shoes and I know all to well the battle and the wounds you have experienced and the scars you now have..Luckily you didnt get into the drugs alsoyou may not have come out alive.
Thank you for sharing. You are absolutely correct about everything that you stated. I was in a 11 year relationship with my kids father and he would dibble every now and then but eventually the drugs took him by a storm. It happened so fast. I started to see that he was more intrested in the drugs what was every now and then became everyday along with the violence. I gave him a choice his family or the drugs, and like you said he absolutely choose the drugs. At that time we had just had our second child, his only son. It hurts like hell. So many emotions that I went through from anger to crying, depressed trying to keep my family together. Its been almost a year and he still in the streets I send him pics of the kids every now and then but I made a decision for myself and my kids to let him go. You cant force an addict to get help they have to want it and once I realized that I was able to let go.
Thank you. Truly, you have saved me.
Iftekhar Khan says
You cannot help a addict ! Unless they join Recovery Rehab
Iftekhar Khan says
I want to thanks all of you for your sincere experiences. Relationship with an addict will not get you anywhere! Don’t lose yourself ‼️
Wow I’m going through this now can relate to all this but I still have questions that I will never understand
Raul Lopez says
Sweet Charlotte says
My boyfriend apparently choose crack over me. He will lie just to go get high. He often make up arguments just to leave home and stay gone almost 2 days. He is very predictable when he run the streets. I know his ins and outs. I pray he gets better. My guy will bluntly say to me I’m thru with you. This hurts like hell. But then he says I’m sorry. He keeps me in mental anguish. I’m tired now. But I love him.
I just went through the same thing. He lied all the time, stole things, even sold his phone several times….saying he lost it. I convinced myself he was telling the truth. Made myself believe his explanations and lies because I didn’t want us to end.
He was/is a very funny, lovable person. When things were good, he had me and my son beaming. He and my kid were crazy about each other. My kid was a big reason why I believed the lies; I didn’t want another man to leave his life. And my kid was how I found the strength to tell him to leave….even drive him 50 miles away that night to be sure he wouldn’t come back.
He was never violent but he could be mean to me at times. Before it was over, I found myself crying every weekend almost every other day. He was cold and distant. I felt lonelier being with him than I did being without him. It was like this dark, oppressive cloud was over our home and followed me wherever I went.
The day he left, he had my car for the day and I called to ask him to pick me up from the train after work. The guy he sold his phone to answered. He told me “dude was on that shit…he was looking strung out….” And there it was in my face. No more denial. I caught a cab home, talked to my son about him leaving, had a girlfriend of mine watch him, and waited for my boyfriend to get home. He started in with some story and i gently cut him off, calmly asked him to pack and told him I’d take him wherever he wanted to go. Dead silence the whole trip. When he got out he said thank you. I pulled off and haven’t cried a day since. In fact, I’ve been laughing and smiling more than i have in a while. He hit me up on Facebook a few times. I ignored him until today when I left him a voice recording saying I would always love him but we could never be together again. I told him to love himself more by admitting he has a problem and getting help for it. I told him he deserved better than to be a drug addict and a thief and to bring pain to himself and the people he cares about.
Addicts are human beings. As a human being, you cant help whi you love. But you’ve got to love yourself enough to find the motivation to leave. Mine was my son….and the realization that my man is an adult who has to find the strength to get help and let go of this thing. In the meantime, in have a wonderful kid to raise and a soul that needs healing. I’m doing that.
I hope you get something out of my story. God bless and good luxk.
Thank you. Been with someone for 9 months after a 12 year marriage ended in my ex husband breaking my back in front of my son and then abandoning us. I’m really in love with my current boyfriend and so is my son. I don’t want my son who calls my boyfriend his stepdadish to lose another man. I knew he was a crack addict who had been clean for a few years when we met. He was looking for a job when we met and passed every drug test for 6 months, which was reassuring to me. I went with him to drug tests and interviews. He got hired a few months ago. I’ve now found out that he used last weekend and for a week 4 months ago. Set up an accountability system with him to call me before he uses so I know what I’m dealing with. He has done that… did it just today in fact. I was an addiction therapist for 9 years, and instead of being angry, I understand the disease, but never expected to deal with it in my personal life. He isn’t binging or using daily, but I know enough to see the behavior is intensifying.
Truly, I appreciate you using your story here. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. I’m hoping I don’t have to get to that point. I’m glad my boyfriend at least gives me honesty so I don’t feel like I’m a hostage here. Maybe in that, there is room for him to acknowledge the need for help if this progresses further.
Gail Grandberry says
You made me think my boyfriend not on crack now but love to spend time in the hood where they sale crack i asked why no answer I’m thinking about leaving before this happens i never seem him do crack reading this is scary .
Sharene smythe says
Hi I’m going through the same with my partner of …. 33 years
It’s been on / of for 5 years now
6 weeks ago he left he said he hasn’t loved me for a while , I’m still in our home as we live on a island , when he left I was ok I told him I’m happy for him as this has been a ongoing problem for years .
When I told him it made him cry had to walk away as I’m not going to help him this time his got to help himself.
I’m kind to him have said he can come home only if he gets help
One day he says I’m sorry I want stop and ask for my help ….then the next it’s I’ll smoke less …. lol
I have finally said I want the house sold so we can go our separate ways not live near each other.
That upset him he came straight over to talk … he now knows I’m just can’t be bothered with his lies …
Sent me a message saying….. I NEED TO FIX US …. I MEAN IT
So I’ll just wait and see… he has a week that’s it .
Yes I was involved with a girl that did the same thing to me any little thing that I would say she would use it as an excuse to not come back to me and party and play with whoever she was with at the time then when she was desperate should be right back to me acting like I was her best buddy very bad situation and they lie about everything and get mad when you confront them sad
So true. Get out of the messy relationship NOW. Small problems will definitely turn into bigger problems.
Raul Lopez says
Thanks for your story. I am currently separating from my husband of 18 years who I discovered has been a cocaine addict for the last two years. We have 4 children, a lovely house and a business together and it has all gone now. I found out he was seeing an escort for 10 months, taking her with him on business trips, then a lapdancer for 10 months doing the same. He spent our hard earned savings on them and coke. It has been devastating. He is now clean of the coke and alcohol for 3 months, and he is starting to realise what he did was horrendous but I cannot regain trust in him again . That makes him sad but he is facing the consequences fairly at least. He believes that the cocaine and heavy drinking altered his brain and took him to situations he normally wouldn’t be in. It’s a shame it came to this.And a warning to anyone using it for fun . It ruins people. Best of luck to you all.
Chiara Difuro says
I have got to ask do you know if crack causes lust and sex with anyone. I found out that he has taken several women to motels! He now watches porn and wants to disgusting things!
Unfortunately, it is an horrific drug that combines with multiple women and disgusting events. Do not let anyone berate you. Drugs are nasty habits. If you never start it, you do not have to struggle trying to stop it. Keep prayer first and foremost.
I’m so glad I found this site! I believe God was showing me this tonight! I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and like others in here, I too did not find out about his addiction until later! He was first kiss when I was about 11. We found each other again 25 years later, but I had no idea of what had been going on in his life. When I found out I asked him and at first he denied it. But eventually he told me the truth after a circular of things happened during the process! I decided to stay with him because outside of the drug usage, he is a beautiful human being. I started studying his addiction online so that I can be aware of what I’m getting into. But for almost two years of our relationship, he has been to at least 4 or more rehabs. There has been a lot of praying, crying, interceding, depression, etc on my part for him because it’s hard to watch someone u love go through that. Against what everybody including his family told me to do, I stayed and endured a lot. It has been painful because he goes thru the motions a lot with him in rehab and on drugs; therefore it takes a toll on me. I’m still praying that God step in and handle this for me because my heart won’t allow me to let him go. He has never hit me, but he can be very mean at times. He also hold me to a very high standard. I have to know what to ask and how to ask when I’m with him. Anything I say frustrates him. But I don’t lie to him. I’m always honest about how he make me feel and I feel about us. I too have addictions that are very difficult to get rid of(not drugs) but other things in my life that are habit forming, so I thought Why judge him? He is in a rehab now, but I know how this goes because I can tell he is irritable now. I have to be the bigger person when I’m talking to him because as the bible says, We wrestle not against flesh and blood…….. The bottom line is that I truly unselfishly love him and I believe I always will, but I also truly love myself and I want to be happy in a relationship without all of this. I don’t want to leave him because I know what it’s like for someone to give up on u. But I also love him enough to stay out of his way out of God’s way so that he will be delivered. The problem comes in when my heart won’t let him go. In other words I’m not in denial of his addiction and he has shared quite a bit of what he has been through, but I truly want to help him and help myself too.
Omg this sounds so much like me your not alone and I’m thinking of leaving also
Ben kniss says
Omg it’s like I just read my own life story but with my girlfriend. Here’s an idea…at this point I think that he & her should meet and ruin each other’s life’s while you & I sit back & discuss how we used to feel before we met each other. Add me on fab… Ben Kniss
I feel like you. I love him so much. I dont want to leave. He is so wonderful to me when hes sober . He totally believes in God. We go to church every Sunday and he really gets into it. Every Thurs. Fri. Sat. It’s the same thing. Drugs and alcohol. They make his mouth violent but hes never toughed me. When he uses he tells me to leave, go get out. Then he blocks me from facebook. He always says the same thing so you would think by now I would have the reply hes looking for. I dont. Nothing I say is right so I pretend to go to sleep. He calls his dealer wanting more at 11pm after hes already done $100 in crack and the vodka, the bottles he drinks to cover a pee test. He rolled his car in April because he was high so now he has probation for the first time in his life. It’s always about covering up. Not about getting clean. I do know since I moved in here in April he has gone from being high 7 days a week to three. That’s what makes it harder. I’ve found the wonderful man in him and I dont want the other side that says mean things. I try to tell him what he says and he never will listen. He admits hes an addict. I guess that’s a start. My problem is I’m selfish. I need to learn to keep quiet and let God be God. All I can do is pray and be still and wait. When I open my mouth even In a loving gentle manner it’s always the excuse he needs to do more. I’m sorry we are all going through this. My heart is breaking reading it all but i dont feel so alone just saying all this has helped tremendously. I’m praying for all of us.
Julia Manikina says
Well! I so relate to you. I just found out that he’s been using behind my back for who knows how long. We’ve been together for three years now. A beautiful man we go to church together but he does have mood swings and he has put his hands on me. It’s like two different people. He gets very paranoid and jealous of times and I have to watch my every step. But 95% of the time he’s such a gentleman and we college other Soulmates! I so relate to you. I just found out that he’s been using behind my back for who knows how long. We’ve been together for three years now. A beautiful man we go to church together but he does have mood swings and he has put his hands on me. It’s like two different people. He gets very paranoid and jealous of times and I have to watch my every step. But 95% of the time he made me the happiest woman I’ve ever been with anyone before he is also so good with my son and my son loves him we do so much together as a family. But I found a crack pipe in the trashcan and he put his hands on me. I got him locked up for that and put a restraining order for him for 10 days. Now I have a hearing and I don’t know if I should take down the restraining order or not. my heart doesn’t let me to let him go yet. But I try to find a string of hope that they are fully recovered crack addicts. He said it was his first time when he tried. But I didn’t see him with the white line under his nose three weeks prior to that. In reading all the stories I can tell he’s had this problem. Just can never tail. I thought crackheads looked kind of obviously. But I guess not when they’re young and in the first stages. I keep praying I don’t know what to do yet. It’s hard. I want to marry him and he would like to have children from me and her kids names picked out. We were best friends and didn’t need anyone else I think he already had a problem before he met me and he has never been to rehab, he has never faced it. I haven’t spoken to him since that happened I will see him in court next week. I will pray for all the People who deal with situation like this, as well as people who are on drugs to be delivered in Jesus name amen.
I was in a 15 year violent relationship and fled across country to live with my mum to try get my life back together. Two years later I met my bf he was my savour and we started our happy life together. We moved in together and had our little girl now 3 and then a beautiful boy now 2. My bf was wonderful, a brilliant dad always had them laughing gave them everything a child could wish for. He made me feel so special. I was the happiest person in the world!! On the 8th June he dropped me and the kids off for a 5 day holiday while he went on a lads holiday!! He kissed me at the door and I told him have a wonderful time. He only contacted me a couple of times while he was away and the five day holiday turned to 2 weeks bearing in mind I only brought things for 5 days for me and the kids. The msg he was sending to me had taken a very strange turn and he had started to accuse me of things I hadn’t done “cheating” being the main one! He would FaceTime me and say he could see people that were definitely not there!! I don’t drive so we got in my mums car to do the 3 hour long drive to my house! The surprise I got when we arrived has devistated my life!! He had nailed wood over the doors and locked himself In! He has been smoking crack now for the last month constantly! His msg to me are of how much disgust he has for me and how I drove him to take crack! He has left me and his children homeless we have nothing not even our clothes. I don’t know anything about drugs I’ve never been around them but the man I knew a month ago would never have left me and his children in this situation. I’m devistated beyond belief because I can’t understand what happened and how someone can change so hugely in just a month!! I keep checking the emails on my phone hoping I will hear from the real him but it doesn’t happen!! My partner chose crack over me and his children and I now haven’t heard from him in two days! Does anyone have any insight as to what to expect! Will he just disappear!
Nikki Cole says
Im actually reading this post thinking deeply about my previous relationship. We were together for about 2 years… He was a cocaine freak and one minute hes fine..the next I wasnt certain whom he was. We were friends a year before hooking up. I really wish I’d kept it on friend bases because now we are nothing but parents of our 5month old. I know silly me.He seemed committed. Told me he would cherish me forever….He would snort cocaine and was also a heavy drinker.. While on coke he would be extra aggressive, forcing kisses, just being extremely uncontrollable. He admitted he had a problem and needed to seek rehab about his addiction. I then searched online for multiple centers only for him to say he dont have a problem and I was his problem… He then leaves my home about 730 on a Friday night and never returned. He did call to check on our son, but im asking where he is, what happened, how did we get to this point. Its been a week…. he now has a new girl friend whom probably sniff as well… And he claims he is fine and happy now. I am so lost. ..all I ever wanted him to do was complete rehab. I spoke to the new girlfriend….she answers his phone and says hes not on coke…hes good..only if she really knew the real Him. He gets irritable and upset when he needs a fix. He punched holes in my walls… Picked up my sound bar and broke it into peices. Screams at the top of his lungs, hes also bleeding out his anus another health problem…. he needs medical attention quickly. But why am i so worried…my home is now peaceful. My 5month old isnt nervous upon his dad screaming because of frustration. …. I am slowly adapting to this.
Cocaine addicts snort you can tell if have runny nose, nose bleeds , using toilet a lot, up all night but sleep all day. Hyper at night an depressed during day. Addicts are normally depressed type people who not happy or been abused as a child. They need something to take edge off sad feelings. But sadly the cocoaine only makes u happy for thirty mins then you become aggressive rude an even violent to loved one. You become paranoid an delusional you have nightmares an hallucinate can’t differentiate between reality an your drugged up thoughts. Don’t try cocaine ever its destructive an takes over you mentally an before you know it you are alone an in a darker place than when you started.
Sharene smythe says
That is so true been with my partner for 33 years this October, I knew he was sexually abused as a child but to what extent wi never discussed. Then in 2015 he started using crack ….. I didn’t find out till the end of 2015 as we worked different shifts I left him but he always sent messages to me and his mother. His mother became worried after not hearing from him for 3 days on the fourth day the police called her . They found him wandering around the streets…. he had been bashed and held by his crackhead friends as his money ran out … $4000 in 2 days gone his last pay
I came to his rescue and helped him get through withdrawals we were homeless staying in a motel for 6 months this is when I found out the existent of his sexual abuse as I got him into a psychologist
It made me cry learning what he suffered as a child and understanding why he had an addiction problem.
It’s been five years and once again he has started using crack he left six weeks ago as I asked him for money towards to bills his been done for driving under the influence about three weeks back so finally admitted to the crack.
It’s really hard to be in this situation as I still love and care for him but the lies are just so hurtful….. he has no family only me as his only daughter has given up on him after we realised he sold his mothers jewellery… his mother only passed away in 2018 that is still very painful to us all .
Also don’t trust an addict when they say I’m sorry an given up they can be still taking it behind your back. They don’t realise they being selfish by taking cocaine because it makes them behave badly to you. They don’t think they behaving badly but they are so horrible an make you feel so unsafe an sad an they think you being bad. Why did cocoaine come I to this world it’s satans poison to makes humans unhuman an evil demon like when people on cocaine. Truly the worst drug a human could take! Sorry to say but drug addicts are selfish from the start by taking something to make them feel happy an not care about wife or kids when taking it! Should be stricter laws an stopping cocaine being available it’s disgusting toxic powder that only pathetic selfish idiots take!!!
Raul Lopez says
I’m also in love 😍 with a crack addict she’s the perfect house wife, only she’s not my wife she’s 38 I’m 67, she has about fourteen children, she has a man who cares about her, she stays with me and I’ve fallen in love with her. love? I don’t know if it’s love if she withdraws affection from me and leaves me empty and hurt, who needs people like that. Love??
This blog is very helpful. It is nice to know that I’m not the only one going through this. My husband is a lying, cheating crack addict. I have stayed all these years for my son. He has gone to rehab twice. The last rehab stay lasted a week. I am tired of arguing, crying and being miserable. We have no savings, no assets, and don’t own a home. After I file bankruptcy i am divorcing his sorry ass.
I forgot to mention the no good dog left at 3:00 pm on Christmas day 12-25-16 and hasn’t been home since. He is such a liar. I have been such a fool.
101 questions in my head says
I first fell in love with my man when we were at high school. After a few months we both went seperate ways in life . 15 years later in our late 20s our paths crossed again although i soon discovered my mans past had been a ring of prison sentences and years of drug abuse,3 of the years were herion addiction which he had been clean from for over seven years. I believed and trusted every word he told me and fell in love with him all over again. We all have a past and i knew dispite his past he was a good,kind hearted,loving,caring man. We dated for ten months before moving in together. I then fell pregnant with our first child a little boy and life was fantastic. We married a year later and had another baby, this time our first baby girl. He was a fantastic husband and doted on our children. An old childhood friend of ours moved into our area with his girlfriend and three children and i soon found out our friend had a bad cocaine habit. My husband tried to help our friend pay of his coke debts without speaking to me about this first. All our savings were gone, we had big arguements over this but i was branded the bad one. My husband then started selling cocaine to try clear these debts for our friend and himself and once our money was back and our friend free from debt it would all stop. I basically had to put up and shut up. Then i walked in one day to them both sniffing cocaine in my house this caused a big arguement and my husband left home and went to stay with his friend. I was heartbroken and had just found out i was expecting our third child. Stupidly i loved my husband enough to take him back without laying any bounderys down by the time our second daughter arrived my husband had become a stranger to me. He would leave me home with our three kids while he walked out and lived the single life of drugs and allnighters with his friend then came back when he was ready. My husband then admitted he was back on herion, his excuse was he had started using crack but felt angry on that drug alone so needed herion to calm him down. I immediately ended our marrage and told him to stay away until he was free from drugs completely. He knew my views towards herion yet choice to use that drug and risk losing me and his kids to it in my eyes. I felt so betrayed by his actions especially when he had been clean from herion all these years, yet after days of thinking i felt id acted harshly after he had tried to be honest and i messaged him to come back. I told him id help him get clean, i loved him enough not to turn my back on our marrage when he had truly messed up yet i was told to drop dead, he didnt want me, hated me,his abuse was disgusting towards me. After another three or four days he came back to see our children told me he wasnt on herion really that he had just tried it again and didnt want me finding out threw someone else, made me feel the bad person for doubting him and not listening to him properly in the first place. Again i took him back but our marrage wouldnt ever feel the same as it once was, months later he came home one evening from our so called friends house , crying begging me to help him. He told me how wrong he had been this past year and begged me to help him as he felt he would either hurt himself or somebody else badly if i didnt help him. He asked me to get him sectioned begged for help to get off drugs, i felt i finally had some end to the nightmare id been living , i promised him id help him that id stand by him until he was clean again no matter what it would take i loved the man he once was and desperately wanted him back to the man i married. I took our baby to her cot to lay her down for the night and once she was asleep we were going to our local A&E to ask for help leaving our three kids with a babysitter. Id been away from my husband ten minutes to settle our baby as fast as i could yet once she was asleep and i came downstairs to ask if he was ready to go get the help he had begged me for less than an hour before he had gone, no note no nothing just walked out. I spent the rest of the night driving round friends houses and family asking if he was there nobody had seen him . Hours of searching i ended up ringing the police a search party was started , three agonising days of wondering what or where he was ended in my husbands body being found in a woodland area five mins from our home . He was found with a needle in his arm too badly decomposed after three days of being laid outside in the summer months that i was never aloud to view his body . Five months on i am devastated, so are our three children the eldest seven years old, youngest two years old . Still waiting on an inquest as to if he committed suicide or if he died just from herion. The one man i lived my life to love and stand by turned out to be the biggest lier id ever met . Other people knew he was on herion yet i trusted he had tried it the once and his addiction was cocaine like he had assured me , i dont know how or why our lifes ended up this way i have so many questions unanswered that i torment myself with everyday yet have to stay strong for our kids although im angry i do still love him my feelings are mixed my heads a mess and its all because of drugs which made my perfect husband a selfish lier
Mrs. Domi says
Wow this site should be right at the top of any search engine. I have been looking trying to find answers and here is where I found home in my heart, all these experiences. I too was married 10 years and in the end endured abuse. Now, crossing friendship lines ( NEW GUY ALERT**) and only half a year later the new “he” was my rubbing of the back, while I was bent over crying. Wouldnt that fool you too? Or maybe he really did care, I beleive the latter, im not a stupid woman nothing was fake untillll…Yes we did party together at times only my thing is Alcohol. We both needed help, only when one becomes clean and the other is full blown into drugs u have no idea what your really in for. Go food shopping even seems like a task or a mask you need to put on because your so concerned about that one… your heart.. the heart is treacherous. We wonder; what have I ever done to you? Is why we find ourselves here because we care. We LOVE. I don’t understand it all but I do know my main advice has been told to run. I don’t think I can do that and maybe he knows that, stupid me. Ready for the silliness, he abandoned his 3 children I tried so many times to force him to be there and guess who’s 7 weeks pregnant. I have not told him (yet) and I refuse abortion but hey want reality? This is what life can be in love with the real person outside of drugs and even while their on it. Enablers are we? I don’t know. One thing I do know is he will not be a part of me and my daughters life (Yes my 5 year old daughter from the other life ) like this I’d rather let him know eventually when he’s done bingieng, let’s be honest here the only way it will stop is if the addicted soul STOPS. I WILL however never leave him stranded but he will never be allowed back in my life like before, he will always have my heart. Loyalty is everything even for the sick, let us pray.
Kesha smith says
My ex and I were working on our relationship sometimes he be so kind other times when he need a hit he will go off on me say things that a person who cares Abt u should never say I was shocked but after hearing him say those things to me for no reason other than his next hit he won’t have to worry Abt me I won’t accept the disrespect its totally unacceptable, I Dont care if u addict who need a fix u Dont say and use physical force on someone you love for a hit, he disgust me he started crying cause he knew he was wrong and he knew I seen him feing I can’t do it hopefully he get the help he needs cause I’m done and happy to say it
I just got out of a 2 year relationship with my boyfriend who was a “crackhead”. I also found out after we got together & things were too deep for me to leave. He always claimed he needed me but when his craving spiked he would scream at me with names & I wouldn’t be able to find him for days. This happened often. He even convinced me to move in with him so things would get better but it made things worse. I would find him smoking in the bathroom & burst into our room thinking that I was cheating on him. Being there only made it worst so I would have to stay away until he came back to earth. Within the last two months that was when he started getting violent. Accusing me of cheating & throwing all my personal items down the stairway kicking me & choking me. I let it slide twice but this last time I finally decided to run. These stories make me feel that I’m not the only one who is having this problem. But I know I can’t be the one to help him. I was the enabler. I can only watch from a distance & hope for the best!
Hi, I just found out on Sunday that my live-in boyfriend does crack. He denied the pipe was his and told me it was his friends. We confronted the friend and he said it did not belong to him, I had already suspected that. I didn’t realize he had been hitting up in my bathroom until I made sense out of some things pertaining to the drug use. He keeps denying it and since Sunday I found another pipe and a bag of crack. I love him and it’s sooooo hard but I think I have to tell him to leave. I have 4 children from a past marriage. He is accusing me of cheating all the time, says someone is sprinkling things on him, hallucinating men inside my home, saying people are spying on him, doesn’t sleep at night and also takes off without notice. I know what I should do but it’s so hard, I really love him so much.
I am fighting to keep my family together…I have come to terms that my other half will never be the same. He has blown through countless credit cards racking up bills on heroin; he went got help and was doing great on his program. Now yet again has used 5 months of income not paying bills to smoke crack. I’m amazed at how much his done and how low his fallen, but he has allowed me to at least get him help. I struggle everyday with my anger or resentments but, this is what keeps me going one day at a time. Now, I do know that the choice is mine whether or not I should build myself up and once again stand by him and fight or throw in the towel and walk away. I’m right now upset due to the fact he has left us with absolutely nothing and now after 20 years I kinda have to start from the beginning. We have lost almost everything but, it all material objects that can be replaced. I have my children and their love and that is all that really matters. I do wish however, he does get better and realizes what his left behind. Maybe its a fools dream but, we can dream; cant we.
Peggy cabrera says
I have been in a relationship for a year now. Left my husband of 11 years due to cheating and cocaine. My boyfriend I have now is on crack cocaine. I have known for a little while but didn’t know that every time he needs the drug he gets moody and starts calling me names and that I’m very controlling. I think he is the one who is controlling. He says awful things to me. After he gets the drug he mellows out and says sorry. I can’t take this anymore. I deserve to be happy not sad all the time. I’m a better person than that. I just need to tell him to get out I can’t deal with the crying and hurt anymore.
Really glad I came across this site tonight and got to read other people experience with their addict loved one .. my man and I have been together 8 years .. he’s been addicted to crack cocaine for 3 (that I am aware of) he’s a monster now, very mentally abusing one minute smashing holes breaking things works long nights but always broke because he’s always using behind my back I choose to stay as long as I did for the children and we are young 24&25 I don’t want to waste anymore time I know I don’t deserve this I guess I have been selfish about being anxious I’d never find a loving man that would want a woman who has three kids already but it’s time to do it for my children if he doesn’t choose help he won’t see me or the kids he’s unsafe and I pray he gets the help he needs for anyone currently experiencing a relationship with an addict if they aren’t willing to get help please Run away as fast as you can before you waste many of years like I did
I'm getting stronger to leave says
I’m full of hurt and anger. My husband is a crack addict and alcoholic. My life has been upside down since we have been married. I have fell into depression and I’m thinking of leaving my husband. I will have to find bankruptcy to get back on track with my life. I love him but I love me more. I’m tired of and being blamed for his faults. He holds against me my retaliation towards him but I was and am hurting. I even thought of cheating. I’m a relationship and wifey material. My cry for understanding
Kinzy wilson says
I really enjoyed this post, there are so many things I’ve read that has lead me to truly believe that the man that I’ve been dealing with is truly an addict. I know that me loving him is not enough to make him love himself or me, he first has to fall out of love with crack. he’s disappeared now for about a week if he should return I can’t him back, I love my myself and I try to live a drama free life . I pray he gets the help he needs, it’s too confusing when someone breaks your soul then tell you that they love you.
I feel so alone, I know he isolates me from my family and friends. No one invites to birthday parties or get-togethers anymore. No one wants to deal with him. My father refuses to be anywhere he is going to be. I think the worst part for me, is that he makes me truly believe that it is my fault. Had i been a better wife, been a better lover, just been cool, not freaking out so much, then he wouldn’t have to use. This last time when I was pregnant, I was in graduate school full-time, working as a bartender and waitress part time, and working another part-time job at the University. The whole time he just sat at the house “helping” with the other kids while he sent me out to work like a dog. And on top of all that, he would constantly be critical of me. Sometimes he will try to make things better, get a movie for us to watch together or clean up everything really good, do the laundry, work on projects around the house. But if I didn’t give him enough thanks or attention for doing those things then he would blow up again. Everyone here walks around on eggshells. Everyone knows to not engage Dad. My kids have to hide their money. My husband in just one year, has lost five iPhones. I say lost, I know he sold them for crack. He lost his car, my sons trumpet. And last night he just stopped by to take a TV. It’s out of control again! We have filed for divorce, but now we are in the 60 days that you have to wait before it’s finalized. Am I going to make it? Is he going to make it? He coughs up congestion from his Longs that has gray and black stuff all in it! At one point it was also bloody. He is super paranoid about me not being faithful to him, he is super mean to the older children who tell him that he’s a bad father and they scream at him why do you choose drugs over us? I just want this nightmare to be over. But I know it’s never going to end. We have so many children together, he didn’t have a father and says that’s why he is the way he is. So now he says I am responsible for making sure that he stays in our children’s lives so they don’t turn out like him. I got so depressed whenever I was pregnant, I almost drove myself to the hospital twice because I had made a plan to commit suicide but try to save my baby. I’ve never been that broken before. And the worst part is, he just laughed at me and said I was putting on a show to get attention. I wouldn’t eat for days, six months pregnant! And he would watch me just lay in the bed and sob and not get up and not eat. He didn’t care. He does not care about us. He just can’t, all he can care about is getting high again.
Helen simkunas says
I to am going through this, ten years with him. He has been doing crackcocain almost thirty years, doesn’t want to come off of it and all I wanted to do was help him. He is a dredger, and I live with my parents with my son. He always thinks I am cheating on him and I never did, constantly tells were done, and how can he say all of that after I have done so much for him and showing him I love him. I helped him get on his feet, but when I tell him I love him so much he doesn’t believe me, what is wrong with you I say to him. I’m always wrong to him. I mailed him things to him while he was away like Christmas presents his birthday gift and he never sent me anything. Years ago he was more into me, although he still lied, cheated , stole from me, and left me at night at times when I stayed with him at his dad’s house where he resided. He now wants me to help him again with putting a car in my name and insurance in my name. I am recovering myself from a broken ankle and was just taken out of my cast and put in a
Boot, and he’s yelling at me that I need to help him, he don’t even care about me, and when i try to tell him how I feel he accuses me of being lazy , that I don’t care, that I am cheating on him, he tells me I changed, and he reminds me of when he broke his ankle how he got around and about. He hurts me so bad, and I’m the kind of person that can’t say no because I feel like a bad person. He has come home from his job after3 months and he has been mean. I have called him just recently and no answer, he makes great money and he won’t answer the phone. I’m always the one who calls more lately and he doesn’t answer even when I leave messages at times. Someone help me, talk to me, I am so, depressed and hurt and feel stupid and betrayed.
My wife and I went down to Cabo San Lucas to meet with a very famous film director . There is no doubt in our mind . that he is still smoking Crack , as it was well documented in a crack documentary he himself directed . He is very scattered ,hyper and sometimes downright nasty … cant seem to keep a single thought in his head .. and despite his working with big stars on big projects . this sad man . lives from day to day . barely able to pay for his non AC room . and is constantly struggling to get his well needed film equipment out of hock . This showed us a bad part of the world . he used us , and was very nasty and manipulative and took us for a lot of money . in our hopes of getting this famous director to film a music video for myself . It was never meant to be .. beware ..
Donna hart says
I’ve been married 16 years a few months ago I found out my husband was smoking crack cocaine, I’m absolutely devasted he could do this. He’s always had a depression problem and struggled to cope with day to day life paying bills etc but to get addicted to this evil entrapment .He’s stolen money from me and run up big drug debts. He’s totally destroyed our marriage. His window cleaning business has died because we lost our vehicle and couldn’t afford a new one so he gave up. I’ve told him our marriage is over and I want him to go but he’s stuck here because he’s got no money to go anywhere. I don’t know what to do do I help him or tell him to get out of my life now. I’ve got no one to talk to.
I have a friend who has been an addict for years. First it was alcohol, cocaine, then switched to heroin, meth, and now she is a full blown crack addict. Homeless and prostituting the streets. We’ve tried to talk to her, show her love, tough love, ultimatums, rehabs, she just leaves. Tells us what we want to hear and then leaves. She is walking the streets in the town we all grew up in with no shame begging for money and sleeping around for money. She told me crack is her best friend. It breaks my heart and don’t know how it got this bad. I don’t understand how mental institutions or rehabs don’t make it mandatory for her to stay. I hate the system
And feel like I’m going to bury my friend soon.
She is only 31 and beautiful. She has her whole life to live but she chooses the streets and drugs. I can’t take it anymore.
So I currently been with my boyfriend for over a year and half now at first he was perfectly working was normal to be with and then suddenly my grandad passed away and I lost myself hopin my boyfriend would be there for me but he wasn’t he kept dissapearing up north and on my birthday I cheated on him noT intentionally was needing him and he was never around I admitted it to him he was heartbroken but we managed to get through it after the first 4 months it was hell I no I done wrong and can’t turn back time but I was of the rails anyway he lied to me for 6 months e kept dissapearingg on me for month or weeks on end he left me that long he moved to his mums in Bristol and I would get coach ur every weekend to see him I made all the effort and all he done was abuse me when I arrived or acuse me of shit it been a very emotional draining rollercoaster for me I’m only 24 years old and my ex is 30 so he was just on the crack pipe I was worried sick I started staying in more isolating myself worried about where he was or if he was ever gonna return I then I sorted out our first new home I put the deposit down as A fresh new start he then got in contact after a month and I let him back in after him telling me he sorry and he never hurt me again yeah that bullshit they tell you , he was here for 3 months but they was the most scariest and draining days of my life he just use to sleep a lot he never get up for work or he have bad mood swings and turn violent with words with r try to hurt me I am a very lost soul I did put. A lot of effort in to him cuz I generally regretted my mistake and wanted it to work I would advise anyone it not easy it very hard to deal with he now got up and left me for no reason literally dissapered and cut his phon of the most painful experience I’ve been through in my life
Lisa Vitale says
I have a boyfriend who I have been with 3 years. He has had me fooled for quite some time. He started using crack cocaine again about a month ago after asking me to marry him and spend my life with him. I was packed and ready to go be with him in Florida where he resides. Out of nowhere he relapses and stops calling me completely. It went from 6 calls a day and loving kind texts to absolutely nothing at all and when I did finally get in touch with him he was angry and violent mannered and usually hung up on me when I tried to talk to him about his addiction and why he would give up on me completely and abandon me me once again. His friends have told me he’s out hanging with crack addict women and he’s back selling crack. It makes me cringe and sick to my stomach for all I have done to help this man. He was able to get a great job and that too will be over soon. This drug destroys everything. He went from being a kind caring man to a total loser unfaithful violent man. Reguardless of the tears I’ve cried and the begging I’ve done to try and help him he simply doesn’t want it. The drug and that lifestyle is his new life. I mean nothing to him now. He completely avoids me now. It’s a shock and nightmare. I feel used and deeply saddened for falling for his web of lies. But I’m strong enough now to walk away and stay away. Until he hits rock bottom which for him will be jail or sadly an overdose he won’t stop. I’ve tried everything and even an intervention. He only gets angry and violent and hangs up on me. There sadly isn’t helping a addict who doesn’t want the help and isn’t ready. He just plays with my mind and leaves me texts every 4 days telling me how much he misses me and loves me but he won’t dare answer any of my calls. He just hides from the truth. I pray I can forget him completely and move on and find the love I truly deserve.
Don’t pray, asking God for strength to leave a situation that God would have never put you in is ludicrous, just do it and let him go. Love and respect yourself enough to bid him farewell forever.
I know first hand how manipulative and low an addict is, the lies… oh Lord the lies! A crackhead will use and abuse anyone without a a second thought, they are not capable of loving anyone including themselves. He will lie, cheat and hurt you anyway he possibly can.
A crackhead will always be a crackhead, they DO NOT change, for the better anyway.
Remember this, it’s not a matter of if a crackhead will ever “use” again but when…
I don’t care if they have 10 months or 10 years of abstinence, they will use again, it’s just a matter of time. There is no such thing or maybe it’s an extremely rare occurrence that a full blown drug addict will stop and never return to using his or her drug of choice, in my case it was Crack Cocaine, him not me.
Never lower your standards to be with or stay with such a severely damaged human being that will never be able to hack life sober, you don’t deserve that, nobody deserves that. Using Crack or any drug for that matter is a conscious choice that only a weak minded individual who has zero self worth would make.
Like I said earlier, they will use, abuse and hurt everyone they come in contact with, trust me I know.
I’m so happy I found this site, I cannot tell the difference between a narcissist or a crack addict, but my soon to be ex husband is both. I also had no idea before of this and the violence just got worse. He is gone now, with no calls. I’m worried about him, but I’m safe. I tried everything to help but all my money, the financial abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse and threats, the beatings and choking, the crazy accusations and paranoid delusional behavior and pathological lying cheating and sick twisted mind is enough!!!!! This is so sad. But I’m free, but worried
K Dafney says
I Be been with my boyfriend for 5 years Now , the first 3 years was Great, then one day he disappeared for 7 days wit no calls no answer , drove me nuts , when he came back he was skinny frail tired an ugly , i ask him if he doin drugs an he says no he was wit friends , I put him out because he couldn’t pay rent or bills anymore , it seem to get better being apart , but he only covered it up better , he still disappeared wit no calls or answers an when I see him he looks different an had no money an works daily , it’s not worth your sanity , u must let it go !! U cant make it better , u will be more unhappy if u dont leave …
I find this very helpful cause I haven’t been able to get help and cope with the emotional train wreck I’m in, my bf of two years has been consuming crack for more than a year now and I never thought something like that will ever happen to me he keeps manipulating me and tries to convince me give him money he steals every chance he gets he lies and keeps promising he’ll be sober and I’ve believed him, I’m completely hopeless about the situation I have no self-esteem no money no emotional support/ stability no sex life and I wonder is this worthy? At what point loving someone means leaving yourself behind?
David (Erimas) says
I have been with my girl for 4 month I was in love and help her a lot of thing from paying bills and food and clothes but I when I find out she was in crack for long time before even I meet her I see her disappear for like 3 day with no call or Tex and I told what’s wrong she always lie but she was a good person and get good Hart I feel like I have to help her i did help her and she was clean for 2 moth after clean and she disappear agent for 4 days I can find I ask all her family thay told me thay can not find her but I search in websites call date online for Monye I use my home boy Namber and call she want me meet have sex for monye I go and I bring my home boy and she come out when she see me she go back to house and she bring her pimp to fight with I told try talk her she don’t want talk me even the man she brings he told me she don’t want talk me I was depressed and not feeling good for 2 days but after ready all this comment I feel better and I decided to let her go I still love her and she only 19 but I love my salf to so all I can do is pray for my love pls I want everyone read this massage want pray for her she gorgeous chocolate girl A****
I no the feeling. Have been with a crackhead for 10 years. Its finally about to be over. It hurts like hell. I no he will never get help and his addiction means more to him than anything. I just wish we would have never got together. Been knowing him since elementary school. Never wanted to cross that line. But I want to be happy and at a peace. And i no in my heart i deserve better. Always will love and care about him. But I just can’t do this anymore.
I too have been fooled. My boyfriend of 7 years started doing crack cocaine about 9 month ago. He confided in me early on that he was a recovered addict. I believed him. We worked hard to build a good life together, however, it is in the process of falling apart. He is in a death spiral with this addiction and multiple health concerns (ADHD, diabetes, seizures, obesity). I am just waiting to get the call we all dread. Today, after a night of binging on crack, he admitted for the first time that he needs professional help and rehab. I will try to support this effort but I have my doubts.
This blog is very helpful for my very current situation. My girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend I guess) just made her choice yesterday morning that she was willing to leave me home alone and go smoke crack cocaine for her birthday if I objected to her using. She’s gone.
As a former active duty US Marine, I’ve had my fair share of alcoholic beverages and I do enjoy a few beers on occasion, however the older I get the worse the hangovers are so mainly stick to marijuana, which is basically part of my daily diet. I have no addictions that I’m aware of, although I have experimented with almost everything that doesn’t involve a needle. Before meeting my…(it’s weird referring to her as an “ex”…this is literally the first day of our breakup…fresh pain folks…) ex-girlfriend I had only tried smoking crack one time, only one puff, about a decade ago, and I didn’t like anything about it. I immediately thought it stunk in a very strange way and it tasted horrible. I never touched it again. When I first met my now former girlfriend, she smoked, but unlike the stereotypical “crackhead” that’s popularized in mass media, this was (is) an attractive, middle-aged women with her own apartment and two jobs. You would never know she smoked. She was not shy about it, and I appreciated her honesty. I’m also a pretty open minded person and I do my best not to pre-judge other people based on race, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, criminal background, place of birth, native language, height, weight, diet, shoe size…(I think you get the picture)…or their drug of choice.
For the first few months I didn’t touch any of it, although I accepted her using (my first mistake). I would stick to a few beers, or a shot of liquor and my usual, highly nutritious, rolled marijuana. It was all fine at first, until her behavior and new male acquaintances led me to believe that she preferred a mate that she could smoke with. I should’ve parted ways with her right then, and let her enjoy herself with whoever she chose. The problem was that we had really began to like each other, and feelings were starting to get involved.
After becoming frustrated by being the black sheep amongst her and her “associates” because I was the only one that didn’t use hard drugs, and feeling that I could lose a potentially good woman if I didn’t join her…I decided to give it a shot and test myself (second mistake). I wanted to experience it for myself. I wanted to see if this big, bad rock was as tough and as addictive as virtually every source states that it is.
I knew I was playing with fire, and I had, and still have, plenty to lose. As did she. Well, I flew to the opposite coast to be with family during Thanksgiving holiday for about a week and shortly before my return I received a text from her stating that she had messed everything up and I probably wouldn’t want to be with her anymore. What could she has messed up so badly in a week? This is when I found out that she had been actually just recently relapsed after being clean for more than 3 years, and by the time I returned she had missed multiple days of work, lost one job, and was 2 months behind on her rent.
WHAT??? (Lil’ Jon voice)
To make a long, painful story a little shorter and bearable (Thank you for taking the time to read about my experience if you are still with me)…she lost both jobs, about 20 pounds off of her tiny, little 5’2″ frame, and eventually she lost her apartment…which she treasured.
She obviously didn’t treasure it as much as the high, because throughout it all, even while she was actively being evicted, she was elsewhere…smoking. We had already began to have problems, and we were breaking up pretty much every week because I was getting sick of not only the smoking, but all of her friends would constantly ask me for money, or for a ride over here, and over there. It caused major problems for my baby and I, and was the source of plenty of our initial breakups.
Eventually she got so bad that I gave her a choice: Get Right, or Get Left. Go into some sort of program or I’m gone. She choose me! She went into the rehab voluntarily, and a few days later I was there to pick up my freshly sober girlfriend. From there we embarked on her journey to sobriety together…and she did good considering the fact that I myself still smoked the ganja and had a drink every now and then.
At first she stayed sober for about a week or so before her craving kicked in, and I had done some research into relapses to better understand them and realize how difficult, and even dangerous, it is to expect an addict to stop cold turkey (similar to certain medications), that there will be slip ups on the road to recovery. Well, I stood by her side during those slips, but obviously, I was beginning to slip on my responsibilities as well.
I caught myself when I dropped about 15-20 pounds due to not eating and staying up all night searching for her rocks. I can’t even count how many arguments we had because of her intolerable behavior while searching for and when using her drug of choice.
Well, we went for about a good two months with only one small slip. I was very proud of her…, then her birthday began to draw near. We have an “Our Fun List” tacked to the wall with all types of movies, museums, trips, and attractions that we planned on doing together during our relationship…, however, she must have already been planning for weeks that she wanted to use on her birthday. She said she wanted to have a few drinks with me for her bday, of course I had no problem with it, and she suggested that we start celebrating the night before which I obviously didn’t mind. Until,…
We took a shot together at midnight, the start of her birthday , and I had purchased an electronic dartboard for her bday because she always stated that she was good at darts and wanted to whoop my butt in a few games. So for the first 3 hours of her birthday, we played music, laughed, had drinks and played darts (which yes, she beat me both games, lol). At about 3:30 in the morning, she dropped the bomb on me that she wanted us to use together for her birthday. I opposed, like always. This time was different for her, she wanted to use and wanted to do it immediately. There’s no getting through to her when she has those rock goggles on. That’s when the problem started. Money has been tight for everyone during these times, and it’s no exception with my case. The only drawback is that we survive on only one income, mine. It’s barely enough for one person to live comfortably, and I’ve been supporting her every need, along with my own, since she lost her apartment.
It was always a battle and an argument when it came to procuring her stuff, as it seems she had no concern in the world that it’s coming out of my pocket, which is essentially food out of her mouth. You think she cares about that? Not one bit. She would expect me to spend more money than necessary, before I would even have a chance to pay my rent, and it constantly led to arguments. Whenever the first comes around, when she knows most people (including myself) get paid on the first, she always gets a craving. Its an argument if I say no, and it’s a long, sleepless night, which turns into about 2 days of aggravation and spending money if I say yes (she will typically be out running the streets for about 3 or 4 days until her body starts to shut down from lack of sleep and nutrients…the she would expect to come back home and sleep for another 2 days. I had had enough.
She said she wanted to go use, and was willing to do so without me if I didn’t agree. After every bad episode of arguing after using, we would agree that that’s the last time. It didn’t take me long to realize the flaw in that statement every time it was uttered. However the last time was different. We almost broke up again, and I pledged to her that that time was the last time.
After another one of our loud, profane, and highly offensive arguments about it, she decided she wanted to go. If you leave me to go use…your not coming back. She decided to test me. So I wrote up two short contracts stating that as of that date (her birthday,…what an asshole I am right…smh) she longer lives at this address, and that she has all of her possessions and doesn’t plan on returning.
She signed it. I called her a lyft ride, and I haven’t seen or spoken to her since. She choose to spend her 49th birthday smoking crack cocaine instead of being with her man.
And that’s where she remains.
So true. Get out of the messy relationship NOW. Small problems will definitely turn into bigger problems.
There to selfish to care crack heads, if it doesn’t come in a pipe or pin, nothing down for him or her !! Don’t ever feel guilty for there own selfish, destructive manner. We all battling something, there’s no excuses. Covid 2020.
Christine Bellville says
I think this site has to be one of the best things going for me right now. It has been so very difficult for me to deal with my current live-in boyfriend. Feb 14th, 2021 marked our two years together, yet I sat alone. Another binge weekend, I faced licking my mental and physical wounds, again. This is 3 months after I let him back in, with the new leaf, I promise, yadda, blah, bs lies. I can’t sleep, my headache is so bad since I had my hair pulled from behind and thrown to the floor, only to get up and have him take both his hands with his full force and slam both my eardrums at the same time, pull me by my hair throw me to the bed, as I kicked he grabs a shirt or something and grabs both my arms from behind wrapped in that shirt and slams his knee into my back, then lets go of my arms and starts to smush my nose and face into the bedding until I barely felt conscious, Read that AGAIN … this is what you will experience, and this is not the first time, he went to jail for 7 months from Feb 11 to Sept 12, 2020, while awaiting trial for breaking 2 of my ribs, and well, he was looking at 20 years Aggrevatiated assault. I was all he had here, and he was all I had. I got housing, I’m a disabled veteran with PTSD, and heart problems, pushing 56! He is 51. We helped each other. We were getting both our lives back on track. I thought leaving my husband of 10 years for a coke addiction was bad, HELL NO, Crack is a Fresh new Hell all its own. When it sinks in you are dealing not with a man, but a beast and this entity has moved into your kind, loving best friend, — read the top few lines about what it is you will be up against, RUN. I am weighing my options, owed close to 600. from him. Hell, during this COVID thing, unemployment is 3 months waiting for, $4.00 in my checking account. That to me seems an easier road to walk alone than live in this constant fear. You will sleep with your wallet, wake up in a panic hearing the door open and close at 3 am. Get a call after 3 days of disappearance acts, from ER saying do you know “so & “so? He OD’d …. yea … I can call his parole officer, I would rather not, I love him, and don’t want to add to his pain. Just I need to end this and start over. If your on the fence about leaving them, I suggest protect yourself. Do not enable, be strong and stick to your guns. Leave, you can not help someone who will not help themselves … Hope this helps, my prayers and LOVE to all of you out there, my saving grace is my children are all grown up, I lived before with a young child and hung in there, that ex-husband was a cakewalk, and we lost everything, this CRACK sh*T is a whole different no turning back kinda drug. Be SAFE …. Jesus bless them all in your great NAME!
Crack can have her I give up says
I fell in love with a crack Addict. She was beautiful and do much fun to be with. The longer we were together the worse things got. I knew she was trying to stop and couldn’t. It was a vicious cycle. She would get her shit and lock herself in her room for the night. I would have to sleep in the spare room on those nights.
The next day there would be some regret. Which didn’t last long before the attitude switched to justification of her addiction. Claiming how it helped her and she shouldn’t be discriminated against because her drug of choice is crack. After all I smoke cigarettes so I’m s hypocrite if I say anything.
Next would be the anger and rudeness. The jones.. verbal fights would spark easily. Back to the top and start over. Sleeping on the couch or spare bed.
We are separated and not currently involved I still love her deeply and would marry her if she got clean. The current woman is unreliable and more concerned with getting more crack than anything. Paranoid and literally killing herself. Doing so much she’s getting sores. All over her body.
It kills me to be helpless to stop her. Understanding and accepting that fact is one of the hardest things to accept. Still trying